My therapist pushes – seemingly – at just the right moments, teetering in a balance of when I need to hear a thing and when I can handle it.

Sometimes these nudges take my breath away. They are at once liberating and terrifying. Like stumbling toward the edge of a cliff, feet catching up just in time for me to see a breathtaking view instead of falling. Or, like struggling through a tangled forest, being drawn in another direction and suddenly finding myself in an open field right before the moment of giving up.

Life feels possible here. Healing feels real, open, personal – like there is no right or wrong. There is space to breathe and be whatever I need in this moment. There is permission to feel, acknowledgement that it is necessary, that it’s ok, and that it doesn’t really matter what it is that brought me to this point.

You need to feel your emotions, Brittany. Get comfortable with being in your body again.

What do I feel now in this moment? Where do I feel it?

I feel free. I feel possible. I feel relief. My heart opens, the tension melts from my upper body. I am sad and terrified and relieved all at once. It’s ok to feel my emotions. I am safe here. I have the emotional capacity to do this. I need to do this if I want to heal.

May I continue to ground in these spaces of cliff edges and open fields.