I just finished two months of devoting my evenings and weekends to ABBA – Mamma Mia and the Charleston Light Opera Guild to be exact. It was an incredible experience and journey, and I’m trying to take a moment to pause and capture it before moving on to the next thing.

When we started this show, it had been 3 and ½ years since my last musical and 11 years (!) since my first. 11 years. Age 22 to 33. That’s a decade of growth for anyone.

The Mamma Mia movie came out in the summer of 2008 when I was in my second show with the Guild. At 22, performing in a summer production of Grease with other late-teen to early 20-somethings, I was in one of the crazier stages of my life. That summer (and the one to follow) is marked with many memories (some fuzzier than others), and the Mamma Mia soundtrack and movie on repeat is among them.

I say that to say that I had a lot of nostalgia around Mamma Mia. I even got to see the show on Broadway with a friend who ended up being in this year’s cast too. I was attached to it at a time when I was go      ing          through       it.  So to return to a theater – where I off and on spent a decade of growing up – and to be surrounded by many new people but also many of the people who were there for my crazy early 20s… let’s just say, a lot catches up with you.

I had a period of insecurity when I entered this show. Everything from, “I’m old and no longer good enough for this” to “What the hell do these other people remember about me and what awful things do they think of me?” Fortunately, I’m leaving now with warmth in my heart, gratitude for the opportunity to reconnect, appreciation for that time and the people in my life, and a reminder that we all

go          through        it.

As a result, here are 7 Mamma Mia-level cheesy yet heartfelt takeaways:

1. “Grow back down. Screw em if they can’t take a joke.” We all have our sh*t. And I don’t know about the rest of you, but sometimes I try to live denying that sh*t. Or pretending like somehow that’s not a part of me. Granted, there are certain habits and experiences I will be happy never to return to. But there is nothing wrong with growing down a little and holding on to the parts of us that are pure and silly and fun. Dance all night, instigate a sing-off, wear disco suits! Our cast hosted a range of professionals and students from all walks of life and ages, shaking their polyester booties and belting ABBA tunes for thousands of people who enjoyed every cheesy second of it. Seriously, grow back down every now and then. It’s ok. And screw em if they can’t take the joke.  
2. “Without a song or a dance, what are we?” Take time for things that matter. Being in shows makes my soul sing, yet I tell myself it’s something I don’t have time for anymore. No. No. No. Of course I was exhausted, stressed, and I saw my family and friends (and couch and bed and dogs) much less than I would have preferred. I don’t recommend this all the time. It’s unsustainable. But the joy of dancing again, of singing, of working with a creative cast and team, and then putting it all together on a stage for thousands of people to enjoy…that can’t be beat. Without a bit of that rush every now and then, what are we? Make space for whatever makes your soul sing.
3. “You are the Dancing Queen.” This one sort of summarizes the first two. I have long embraced “Dancing Queen” as my anthem. Whether I’m a soloist in a ballet company or simply the first one to the dance floor, Dancing Queen I will be. Know who you are, own it, and create a life that allows you to make room for it. This isn’t just about making time for hobbies; it’s about making space for being who we are. I’ll never be a ballerina again, but I’ll always be a Dancing Queen. And I promise to always live in a way that allows me to embrace this and express it.
4. “Our Last Summer” – “Nothing promised, no regrets.” This is probably my favorite takeaway from the past few months. I mentioned some anxiety I had around returning to a show with people who “knew me when.” Some I’ve been able to keep in touch with over the years and have had conversations around this. (I see you. I’m grateful for you.) One, however, I hadn’t been in a show with since Grease. We’re the same age and shared a lot of the same wild summer memories.  The night of our opening cast party we got to talk some – regrets, fears, and the memories in between. At the the heart of our conversation was laughter and gratitude. Often the experiences we think we most hold in regret are the same that cause us to dig the deepest and grow. I couldn’t help but beam the next several shows as we danced together in Voulez Vouz, singing to each other, “nothing promised, no regrets.” Instead of shaming ourselves for our past, I think we could all do ourselves some good by embracing it. Make amends where amends are due…seriously. But don’t ignore the fun and youth and whatever else was in the mix too. You have lived. And that is true.  
5. “Slipping through my fingers.” This is our “one precious life.” (Mary Oliver passed during the production of this show, and yes, I just segwayed from ABBA to Mary Oliver. It’s well worth the nod.) There is such a tendency and ease with telling ourselves, “Well, I can’t ______ because…” or “I’ll do _______ when ________.” This is it, y’all, this is all we get. Life is slipping through our fingers, and the clock keeps ticking. Enjoy it, embrace it, live it.  
6. “Take a chance, take a chance, take a take a chance chance.” Am I a broken record yet? I’m sensing the theme here. Go for it. Live it. Whatever it may be. Audition for the show, go back to ballet class, change careers, get a puppy, get a tattoo, tell someone what’s been heavy on your heart, heal, travel, wear disco pants and platform shoes. Better to have lived than live wishing you had.
7. Mamma Mia mega mix. We have a joke in our line of work about free advice. Scrap it all if you like, but trust me on this last one. When all else fails, shimmy and belt it out to the Mamma Mia mega mix. You’re welcome in advance.

I’m really happy to be back on my couch on a Saturday. I’m also really glad I spent two months back in a theater. Thank you for the music. On to the next show!