Today was the first … I never know how to say it. It wasn’t the first snow of the year. Nor was it – being autumn – the first snow of winter.

Today was the first snow since the last snow.

You loved the snow. The cold. I know this about you, but I don’t know what made it true for you.

Maybe it was the crisp lightness of the air that made you feel like you could breathe again. Or was it the sharp tingles of frigid wind that jolted you to life? It could have been the barren trees that finally took their respite. Or the quietness of a freshly fallen snow. Was it the warmth of bundling up in a toboggan and scarf? Or the comfort of snuggling under blankets at the end of a long run? Or, maybe, maybe it was a reminder – of sleigh rides and cocoa, snow days and holidays.

I walked to work, thinking of all the things that might have made you love a day like today. Like magic, “Kasmir” played through my headphones as it usually does at all the right times. It took me back to an 18-year-old car ride with you, smoking cigarettes with the windows down. The frigid winter air jolting us to life. You opened the sunroof and registered equal parts shock and joy as snow dumped in our laps.  

I never loved the cold until I had you to miss.

Today, I couldn’t think of a single reason not to love the first snow since the last snow.